Cheap on Steam: Final Rest
The experience that's more of a bad carnival ride than bad carnival rides

What's up guys? Sorry for my long absence but I’ve been busy with some stuff and haven't really been able to delve into games lately; cheap or otherwise. However, the Cheap on Steam segment is back, and I’ve got a real doozy for ya. So strap in and get ready to be scared! Well...more like mildly discomforted...maybe even just kinda confused?

And when I say strap in I mean sit down, because the game even says, “Stand up at your own risk”. Also you'll need a VR headset so strap that on too I guess...

Final Rest is what I can only imagine happens when you start off with intentions of making a VR game, lose your funding, and say “Screw it, put it out anyway.” It's also what happens when you ask an ex-carny how to build a haunted house simulator. As a VR title, I'm sure someone put a lot of time into this, but the experience for me personally was kind of lacklustre.

As far as I can tell there is no real story to speak of. You play a genderless, ageless, faceless being in a hospital, who I guess is either dying or on some really good meds. The game goes from being inside a hospital room to flashing into a “haunted hospital room” complete with floating objects, rats on your chest, spooky skeletons, and disembodied hypodermic needles. Then you wake up in an asylum that is SO not up to code. I have to assume the person’s family couldn't afford a real 24 hour care facility, so they just stuck them in a derelict carnival ride and said “Same thing right?” Your bed, or gurney, or whatever, then begins to move and you're treated to a stationary view of all kinds of random fun house crap that jumps out to scare you whilst you make your way to the morgue. This place has all the classics; naked Frankenstein's monster (check), ceiling crawling demon babies (check), giant dog demon (check), an uncaring human morgue attendant who is the only normal person in this whole place (oh ya, check), creepy furry thing who drags your coffin, that you somehow floated into, to your grave (check and check), and of course the hands from the labyrinth even make an appearance as you fall into a hole and your casket shuts. That's when you find out it was a dream or something and you find your very ethnically diverse family standing inside your no longer haunted hospital room... unless you get the bad ending and then a demon face appears and spits fire on you. Roll credits; thanks for the $1.

Okay well...let's talk about gameplay. Oh wait there is none. This is a non-interactive ride that, much like the last time you went to the county fair, you are forced to sit and take in as it happens. Unlike the fair though at least your chair (I assume) isn't caked with sweat and cotton candy, so that's nice. This is basically a ride so you have no control over it.

But the controls are pretty innovative given their abstract nature. And when I say “abstract nature” I’m being sarcastic because the controls exist only in your mind. Much like gameplay, you are a Forrest Gump-esque feather on the wind here as you are pulled steadily towards the credits. My headset was not on the list of "approved peripherals" apparently, so many of the visual effects are kind of lost here. You have no means to interact with any of your surroundings so you're just left thinking “Well...I guess this is fine then.” as you are swept along towards whatever. Again my headset and controls were unsupported so many of the things going on are likely hair raising but since I can only see them as vague shapes in my peripheral their effect is kinda lost.

Oh but the sound! The sound is where this game SHINES. The sounds in this game have all the charm and ambient ability of a county fair haunted house as provided by windows movie maker. Don't get me wrong here, the sounds were spot on and helped immerse me further into the experience of being a fully paralyzed patient in the worst asylum of all time. The sound alone has saved your “game” from being the worst I’ve ever seen; you should take those sounds out of your pocket and thank them now.

Okay okay I know I’ve given this “game” a lot of crap but I have to say that it is exactly what it says it is. " A short non-interactive horror experience (approximately 4 minutes) that is intended to be given at a party using props. It allows a party host to scare the guest, while they are facing some of the many phobias people have like: rats, spiders, fierce dogs, hypodermic needles, blood, claustrophobia and even death itself. This experience was created with the idea of using props like a feather duster, can of compressed air, spray bottle of water and other items to give the guest an unexpected surprise while they are taken to their Final Rest," says the Steam page and boy lemme tell you it...certainly tried. If a colleague of mine hadn't suggested it I would have never known the joys of having my money taken for something so mediocre until the next time the fair is in town. I’m giving this game...ride...experience...whatever you call it a 3 out of 5 on the grounds that it made me chuckle a few times, didn't eat up too much of my lunch hour, and was honest in its description (unlike some games I've reviewed here). Good job guys, can't wait for support to come to my cheap third party VR set so I can fully experience this solid Meh in all its radiant glory.